Mimi ni machinga
Kutimuliwa, nimetimuliwa.
Kongo na posta
Kumesafishwa.
Peupe…….
Uchafu na wachafu,
Wamepakiwa na kupakuliwa,
Kwa hisani ya Shemeji Takataka Co. Ltd.Mkuu kaagiza
Shemeji katekeleza.
Mitaa ya Darisalama,
Mtaa wa Nyerere.
Peupe……
Karibuni Bandari salama,
Wahisani, Wataalam, Watalii,
Waheshimiwa Maaskofu wa Utandawazi.
Kutimuliwa, katimuliwa.
Hasani bin Machinga.
Yunifomu yake chafu,
Kavaa tangu Jumatatu,
Kakosa kufua Jumapili.
Sabuni bei poa.
Maji hayaonekani.
Pasi haina mkaa,
‘Mharibifu’ wa mazingira.Mkuu kaagiza.
‘Msinimwagie unga wangu,
Nimeamrishwa na WaM,
Watoto wote shuleni!
Tekelezeni MMEM!’(Nimerudi Kongo,
Nitafute hela za sabuni.)Nikachapwa vibao,
Nikavuliwa chupi.
Nikapigwa picha,
Nikaanikwa hadharani,
Uchi wa mnyama!Nimeshitakiwa mahakamani.
‘Wee…bin Machinga,
Umekaidi amri
Ya MeM na WaM.Hasani bin Machinga,
Umemsingizia ulemavu,
Kaombe Garden Avenue,
Movenpick na Peacock.
Umelidhalilisha Taifa,
Taifa la Waastarabu, Watulivu, Waungwana.
Wee… machinga mchafu!
Mzembe we!’Nimeshitakiwa mahakamani.
‘Wee …bin Machinga.
Umekaidi amri
Ya MeM na WaM.
Mwanao mtoro,
Haonekani shuleni.
Umevunja kif. 25,
Kifungu kidogo (9),
Ibara ya 3,
Ibara ndogo (iv),
Kuanzia mstari wa pili,
Na kuendelea …‘Wee…Machinga,
Umetenda kosa,
Kosa la jinai.
U semaje?’
‘Nakiri …’
‘Unakiri nini? Sema kwa sauti.
Toa mikono yako mifukoni.
Simama wima!’Nakiri, Mheshemiwa.
Mimi machinga mara 25,
Mchafu mara (9),
Mzembe mara 3,
Mlevi mara (iv).
Kuanzia kuzaliwa,
Na kuendelea …Nakiri Mheshimiwa.
Sijui kulea,
Sijui kuthamini
Elimu, Utamaduni na Usafi.Nakiri Mheshimiwa.
Mimi mwizi,
Mzururaji.
Mzembe.Maneno yangu maporojo,
Malalamiko yangu masihala,
Mahitaji yangu anasa,
Manung’uniko yangu wivu (wa kike).
Nakiri Mheshimiwa.***
‘Adhabu tarehe 13 Februari,
Baada ya mapumziko,
Ya Krismasi.Heri za Krismasi.’
Heri … Mheshimiwa.
Cooooooooort!***
‘Mheshimiwa Hakimu,
Ninasikitika kuarifu,
Mahakama yako tukufu.
Leo saa 11.00 alfajiri,
Wee Machinga,
Alikutwa amejinyonga.’‘Kwa heshima na taadhima,
Ninaomba Mahakama yako tukufu,
Ifute kesi ya mhalifu,
Wee Machinga.
Na kumuachia huru’Ninafuta wamachinga,
Niwie radhi, ulimi umeteleza,
Hauna mfupa! (Heheheheeee.!)
‘Ninafuta kesi ya Wee Machinga.’Cooooooooooooort!
~~~
Order
I am a hawker
Swept off, always swept off.
Kongo and Posta,
Have been cleared.
spotless …
Filth and the filthy,
Loaded and unloaded,
Compliments of Brother Takataka Co. Ltd.The boss ordered
Brother executed.
Streets of Darisalama,
Nyerere Street.
Spotless …
Welcome to the port of peace,
Donors, Consultants, Tourists,
Honorable Bishops of Globalization.
Swept off, always swept off.
Hasani son of a Hawker
His filthy uniform,
Worn since Monday,
Missed wash on Sunday,
Soap is cheap,
Water scarce.
Iron lacks heating coal,
O this environmental ‘saboteur’.The boss has ordered.
‘Don’t you mess up my job.
I have been ordered by WaM,
All kids to school
To implement MMEM.(I am back at Kongo,
Sweating for soap money.)Slapped,
Undressed.
Photographed,
Publicly laid bare,
Stark naked!Charged in court.
‘You…son of a Hawker,
Disobeyed the order
From MeM and WaM.Hasani son of a Hawker,
You feigned disability
begging at Garden Avenue,
Movenpick and Peacock.
Humiliated the Nation
A nation of the civilized, the serene and the genteels.
You … filthy hawker!
Lazy!Charged in court.
‘You …son of a Hawker.
Disobeyed the order
From MeM and WaM.
Your child skives,
Off school.
You violated section 25,
Sub-section (9),
Paragraph 3,
Sub-paragraph (iv)
From the second line,
Onwards …‘You … Hawker.
Have committed,
A criminal offense.
What say you?’
‘I admit …’
‘You admit, what? Speak up
Take your hands out of those pockets.
Stand straight!’I admit your Honour.
I am 25 times a hawker,
I am 9 times filthy,
I am 3 times lazy,
I am (iv) times drunk,
From birth,
And forever …I admit your Honour
Ignorant of rearing,
Ignorant of valuing
Education, Culture and Cleanliness.I admit your Honour.
I am a thief,
I am a tramp,
I am lazy.My conversations are but idle chats,
My complaints are but jokes,
My needs are but luxuries,
My grumblings are but jealousies (of the female kind).
I admit your Honour***
‘Sentencing on February 13,
After the holidays,
After Christmas.Merry Christmas.’
Merry … Your Honour.
Coooooooourt!***
‘Your Honour.
It saddens me to inform,
Your noble court.
Today at 5am,
That son of a Hawker,
Hung himself.’‘I respectfully request,
That your exalted court,
May be pleased to dismiss the charge against the criminal Hawker.,
And set him free.’I am exterminating hawkers,
Apologies, slip of the tongue,
This boneless organ! (Hahahahaaaa!)
‘I am terminating the charge against Son of a Hawker.’Cooooooooourt!
January 15, 2007